Temptation

~lovely instrumental song~

Temptation..
Is like an invitation
Something that pulling me
Attracting my sight
Captivating my heart
Makes the heart stir
Yearning for desire..


Temptation..
Look beautiful and delicious
Nice to look at
Wonderful to hold onto it
A potentially joyful event
That might create good memories..


Irresistible temptation..
is tempting me
tormenting me inside
makes me want to have it
makes me want to get it
makes me greed with will and hopes


The temptation..
always visiting this heart
popping out again and again 
in this conscious mind
disturbing the tranquility that exists.


Sometimes it's a good thing
that's tempting me.

Sometimes it's a bad influence
that allure me to destruction.


I need to be wise
in judging the temptation
what it offers to me in this life
and which side it falls into,
the sinful or inspiring ones..


How strong..
the power of temptation 
I need to control the desire
And tried to resist the effect
it had in me.

...............


Many times,
I strongly feel that
I want to go ..
I want to have it..

But..
Can't afford to fulfill 
the demands of a temptation


Maybe time is not just right
Due to obstacles coming over
Or may be it's simply not meant for me
And never and never destined for me
For an unknown reason to this limited mind
But HE knows what's the best


Oh! please be patient
The time just not yet come..


Be patient
You have the wish and will 
but it's just the time and 
everything seems not allowing you
to go through it..

Believe in HIM..



Just not yet..


-notcar99-

Membelah Langit Biru

Membelah Langit Biru
Bas bergerak laju 
Memecah kesunyian kota
Ku jenguk ke luar tingkap
Ku lihat ke langit biru
Subhanallah,sungguh indah sekali ciptaan-MU.

Langit membiru
Cuaca yang cerah
Aku termenung sendirian
Sampai bila langit yang indah
ini mampu ku lihat..
Datang lagi persoalan
Kenapa langit itu berwarna biru?
Adakah kerana pantulan dari laut?
Atau mengikut teori fizik,
Yang dinamakan 'Rayleigh scattering'?
Dan kenapa pula laut itu biru?
Pantulan dari langitkah?
Namun ada kalanya langit tidak sebiru laut
Ada masanya pudar di balik awan
Yang ku pasti langit tidak selalunya cerah
Warnanya berubah
Tidak tetap..
Namun saat ia biru
Ku rasa aman
Sejuknya terasa
Bukankah biru simboliknya damai
Sesuatu yang menenangkan
Bersama angin bertiup
Menandakan cuaca yang indah
Syukur pada-MU.

Namun ada sesuatu di sana
Menarik perhatianku
Aku mengukirkan senyuman
Dua garisan putih membelah langit
Aku pasti ia bukannya awan
Seolah-olah bergerak ke dua arah berlawanan
Dua garisan bertembung
Menghasilkan satu abjad Romawi.

X bermaksud anu
Atau 'unknown'
Sesuatu yang tidak diketahui
X simbol untuk menanda
Pilihan yang dingini
X tandanya 'salah'
Bagi jawapan yang tidak benar
X membawa banyak maksud
Simbol dalam khidmat pesanan ringkas
Abjad yang unik banyak gunanya.

Aku tersenyum lagi
X yang ku fikirkan tika ini
X yang amat kena sekali pada masanya
Adakah kebetulan atau suratan
Sesuatu yang dirancangkah?
Namun yang kuyakini
Dalam hatiku
'X di atas langit biru'
Tidak memberi makna yang tertentu
Pada diri ini
Kerana aku menyukai biru kerana warnanya
X kerana keunikannya
Bukan kerana apa-apa..
haha

-notcar99-

Never fall in love..

Never fall in love with the wrong person.
Don't be easily swayed away by emotions of love.Endure it.

Control your heart,your desire.Just wait patiently,the time will come finally,if that's your destiny..I'm tired of marriage worries in some people..If you really want to get married,prepare yourself.Don't just throw unnecessary emotions here and there,telling about your never ending marriage dreams.Be serious,straight to the point,whether want or not.at that point of time.If not sure yet,leave it first,until you become very sure of your feelings,your decision that you made.At the same time,set a positive thinking and pray.Some people say that if you continuously say or wishing for something,that might turn true,or real.But where's the effort of improving yourself?Put the effort too.And distract yourself from worries over something that will not help you anywhere,at all.If you do something that's useful,something around you are going to change,so with the chances that you might get..

Love never wait.
Love never choose.
Love is unconditional.

But..
You can choose.
You can plan.
You can control.

Because you have the power.
You have the ability.
Ability to decide what you want to be.

Hence,protect your heart.
Don't waste it for bad love.
Which is merely temporary.
Only to pass the time.
To fulfill your desire to feel,to be loved.
Love that is not qualified to be yours.
Leave it.
Avoid it.

Love is pure.
Love is clean.
Hence take care of those feelings.
Until the most suitable person received it.
And you deserve it.
After all the patience,perspiration and perseverance.

Just be patient..

-notcar99-

Hope

Hoping for something..

Hope should never cease..

There's a problem
Keep haunting this body
That never disappear
Always come disturbing
Until I feel suffocated
Become so stressed
Fed up,angry,sad..

That thing
Can't say it aloud
Only share it with God
Tell what this heart feels
Asking Him for help
Because only Him can help
Nobody else..

Even that thing is something's shameful, a sin,mortal sin,unforgivable ..
He covers it..
If a person repent,
Truthfully,with sincerity,
Asking for forgiveness,
He will,He may forgive..

How if a sin keep repeating over and over..
You repent and repent,
But you never fail to repeat it..
You regret over it
Feeling sad because you are so weak
Weak to fight the temptation of the satan
and the nafs inside yourself..

When this will be over
Until when will be thinking about the same problem
That never been resolved
Never permanently stop
until when..
until heart become so rigid?
until heart ignore it ..
because you have given up..
Never..please
Never lose hope
Inside you and to Him..

Tired..
Of losing spirit
Losing happiness
Losing true meaning in life
Repeating the same thing
Never really changing
Never really repenting

What is the meaning of this life
If you can't know the aim of living
The reason for survival
Only go with the flow
Life become so bored
And useless,and just has nothing in it
Lifeless life,loneliness
All suffering is futile..

If you can't make yourself useful
If you can't love yourself
If you can't love God (Allah)
And the prophet Muhammad
If you can't follow His order
If you violating yourself
Every now and then
...
Then you are taking this life for granted..
You aren't qualified to get His blessing..
Jannah is a only dream then..

Hope..

I still wish for that hope
Hoping that
Problem will be solved
The unsettling feeling inside me to stop
bothering me
Hoping to change totally,
To a better me,like a new person
That has just born..or reborn..
I want to leave all the things that I don't want to with me
Qualities that doesn't need to be kept
Want to be someone different
Want to forget all the bad memories
Want to throw away the sadness,the loneliness,the darkness,
Want to have a new episodes of life..
With a new motivation
That keep me going..

Please,
Dear God,
Dear Allah,
Please help me
To reform myself
Help me to change
Help me grow to a better human
Only you..
I hope my heart always filled with You
Remembering you,Allah..
So I can always keep myself in check
Every moment in my life
Everything that I do
So I will never repeat those mistakes again

Hopefullly this hope never cease..
And all the wishes come true..

If God's (Allah) will..Insya-Allah..


Expression of a stressed heart,
-notcar99-